Ok its been awhile since my last post, infact it was new years eve when I last posted, since then I’ve become a father again to a beautiful baby girl called Ava Deirdre O’Connell and thankfully she looks like her mother.

So now I’m a father of two, a young boy of 2years called nathan and a 6week old daughter, Ava. I find myself trying to remember things that I did not so long ago as in how to hold a baby, feed a baby, clothe a baby etc. Surprisingly alot of comes naturally, seems its in our genetic make up but I know some blokes that would deny this, when you see the panic expression that follows slight movement of a baby in their arms but when its your child an instinct takes over, a fatherly instinct. You just do things, no second guessing, like an auto pilot switch turns on.

But as this has happened in my life I find myself asking the questions, am I a good dad? Or will I be a good dad? Seems although I do the natural fatherly things I still doubt my abilities as a father figure or a dad per say. There’s an old saying that says “anyone can be a father, but it takes some one special to be a daddy”. We see the tv programmes and the films that portray what a good father does or what a bad father does, we hear the old sayings “like father, like son” etc but there’s no instruction manual just what we know and see. And the greatest teacher…is our own Dad

My own father passed away when I was 18 and although it was a tragic time in my life and still haunts me to this day, I’m greatfull i had the time i did with him, he was a great man, a loving husband, a good friend but most of all to my brother and i he was a great dad. People often wonder what makes a great person…….to me its the ability to do the right things at the right time. My dad was always there for us, we never had to question his love for us, he may never had said he loved us all the time but you just knew. Although my dad had a small group of close friends and a large group of friends, he was a quiet father, he never had to say much, even when we did something wrong, he wouldn’t get angry he would simply let us know we let him down, which was more impactful than been shouted at, he gave advice in small amounts but were always the right thing you needed to hear, he always had faith in us when others didn’t…..he was a great father and an even better dad, and although I never told him so often as I should have, I loved him very much and I know that thanx to him I know I can be a good dad too, even if im half as good as he was I’ll be doing well.

 

the past is history, the future is unknown, but now is a gift thats why its called the present

 

 

 

Here’s to a new year, poem no.3

Posted: December 31, 2011 in poetry
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Here’s a poem to 2012:

So another year is at its end,
The light of new beginnings are at hand,
Troubles and worries are left behind,
As we sing the old Lang syne.
Once again our new year resolution starts,
As we hold our friends and family in heart,
So may 2012 be a blessing to you,
And happiness and joy are close the year through.

By Kenneth O’Connell

Happy New Years everyone

“you should never judge a book by its cover”

a true statment in many a sense but there is alot about the cover that can tell us about the underlying principles of the story. maybe not directly what the cover tells us but more as to the little unnoticable things, like the creases on the cover fold, they can tell us how often the book has been read and therefore how popular it is no…..

of course we us this phrase as a metaphor for juding people and like the metaphor it is true appearances can be decieving but there are things about appearances that can help us to identify certain things about people, but only if you are willing to look

we all wear masks, some of us wear small masks to cover certain things we do not want others to know, others wear large glamourous masks so that people cant see the real them, our masks come in forms of clothing, make-up, facial expressions, body language and our words.

there are ways to look beyond the masks, ways which i have used for years, im not sayingim an expert at reading people or knowing peoples thoughts, but i normally can read alot of people easily which can help understand them better.

things to look out for that can reveal alot about a person is the 4 windows, as i call them, firstly the obvious one is the eyes, someones eyes can reveal so much about the type of person they are, the movment of the eyes, the stare, the deepness, it can show tiredness, sorrow, joy and many things that can reveal what is going on in peoples lives.

the second is the fingernails (at this point i should reveal it was a blog written by a friend of mine kate about finger nails that prompted me to write this), now fingernails is a difficult one as people get their nails done which can be a mask in its self but also it can indicate a form of vanity, but the nails again can show signs of poverty, hard worker, anxiety (biting) and other signs of problems or lack of

third window is the lips and nose, these i present as a duo simply because they both work in sync alot, flaring nostrils and quvering lips as it were, a show of anger or worry, also the nostrils can indicate when the lips are lying, ie a smile with flaring nostrils, usually the sign of a false smile

and finally the fourth window i look for is footwear or feet, most security guards will tell you this is a good way to spot some potential thiefs believe it or not, it can indicate potential poverty, self discipline, lack of self believe, nervousness (feet tapping), and can also show readiness to run (both do theirs or someone looking to avoid some one or some thing else)

now i realise by the end of this alot will disagree with me but i have used these things for years and it has helped me understand people before ive got to know them, therefore making the process so much easier, usually even in work it helps you to approach customers, and helps in making friends and even in “chatting up” women or men,

i hope i didnt bore you and hope you find these things helpful

Posted: December 24, 2011 in Uncategorized
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my second poem post, i wrote this when i was 15 for a anti-smoking campaign compitetion through the school, we were asked to write or draw something to represent anti-smoking and this won it for me

White Stick

Carrying a white stick in your hand
But you are no blind man.
Cutting your life short with each intake
Not for anyone’s or your own sake.
Eventually it becomes a struggle to breathe
But did you ever really feel?
Destroying your own and everyone else’s heart;
Smoking our world apart.

By
Kenneth O’Connell

Posted: December 6, 2011 in poetry
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If I died tomorrow

Posted: November 30, 2011 in mortality
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If I were to die tomorrow, what will I be remembered for?

True that I read this on someone’s FB status as just one of those “chain status updates” where so many people do the same thing to either have friends, family and acquaintances say something nice or funny, not really taking in to context the idea of “what if I died tomorrow”, “what will I be remembered for?”

I’m sure if I was to thinking of friends and family and used my imagination to its full ability to imagine their death, I could conjure up a true enough idea of how I would feel and what I’d remember about them but that would be how I feel right now, those feelings may not be the same tomorrow…..

Also as much as we could prepare and imagine, nothing, not even a long term illness or the decision to press the switch, could prepare you for death be it friend, family, acquaintance or even a pet. I’ve had someone pass away in my family suddenly (my dad) and I’ve witnessed someone mourn for someone who died due to a long term illness and can honestly say there is no difference in the hurt and emptiness that you can see in their eyes as to how I felt.

So when I think of my own mortality, what will I have left behind me? What will I b remembered for? If the truth be known it shouldn’t matter to me as I won’t be here to worry or be happy about it, but it does matter to me, as I’m sure it does to many who’ve considered their mortality, specifically those who’ve had to deal with their potential mortality and have been close to it.

If I were to be gone tomorrow……is leave behind a son and possibly another son or daughter yet to be born, I’d leave behind a loving family, I’d leve behind friends no not friends, my other family, and what will I be remembered for?

I’d like to be remembered for this…..for those who die its easy for those left behind, you are the ones who must suffer, despite some hardships, I was happy in life, so I died happy, so live happy, times will be tough but if you can’t laugh at the bad things, you can’t survive them……

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I have written some poerty over the years so I will leave some short “Blogs” now and again which will be just a poem so heres number 1:

Love Bound

What such beauty that it does not need a name;
Yet it’s angelic voice shall call mine.
With eyes brighter than any star in the night sky;
And a gentle touch that’s so divine.
A smile that could brighten the darkest day;
With words that cannot be found.
No flower or miracle could compare to the sight I see;
And in this sight my love is bound.

By
Kenneth O’Connell

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Posted: November 27, 2011 in poetry
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Ok folks blog number 2 and since I’m working in retail it seems this time of year is a good time to talk about Christmas…..

Even in the 24years of my life Christmas has changed alot, I remember as a kid everything would shut down for Christmas for nearly a week or more, I remember my mam and dad getting in milk and bread to last the week or 2 cause barely any where would open, now it seems that we lucky to have Christmas day off work, everywhere opens till 6-7 on Xmas eve and reopens Stephens day.

Christmas was a time for family, friends, children…..now it’s a time for profit and getting away from everything, when I was younger I remember nearly 80-100 people I would see on christmas and stephens day, all family, friends and “real” neighbours, even on a main road in Dublin it seemed we had a community, now of days people go away for Xmas, the “real” neighbours are few and far between, and it seems the only traditions I try to hold on to are a struggle.

But in saying all this, there is still that joy when the day comes, a different joy, it may not be what I remember but now I build my own Xmas traditions and memories, with my son who is only starting to understand Xmas, with my fiancé who never seem as pushed as I was about it, and with my family and friends. I will not let all traditions fade, I will have a Xmas drink with those friends closest to me either Xmas eve or Xmas eve eve, I will carry my son down the stairs to see if Santa arrived and I will share an Xmas dinner with my fiancé and my mother, and remember my father and it’s true what my father and mother always told me “never go to bed on a fight, because one of you may never rise” and at this time of year that means more than ever, as every year our family would have our quarrels but every Xmas morning we would be closer than any other time of the year

So after all that what is my point?

If you believe in Xmas or not, use this time to remember those who have gone before us, keep your traditions no matter how small and most of all be with those you love and if you can’t let them know you are thinking of them

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Posted: November 25, 2011 in christmas
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